


The Princess Bride

by Allecto



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-15
Updated: 2012-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-12 05:26:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allecto/pseuds/Allecto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pure silliness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Princess Bride

_Fade in on..._

**A Video Game On A Computer Screen**   
The game is in progress. A sick coughing sound is heard.

Cut to:

**The Kid**   
lying in bed, coughing. Pale, one sick cookie, about the size of a beached whale. And about as happy as one. The Mother enters, fluffs his pillow and kisses him on the forehead.

Petunia: Is Mummy's Ickle Diddykins feeling any better?

Dudley: I want another chocolate shake.

Petunia: Diddly-Widdly knows the doctor said...

Dudley: I WANT ANOTHER CHOCOLATE SHAKE!

Petunia: Guess what, Diddyums?

Dudley: I can have another chocolate shake?

Petunia: Your father's home.

Dudley: I WANT ANOTHER CHOCOLATE SHAKE!

Petunia: [ignoring him] AND, he's decided to read you a story, to keep Mummy's sweet boy happy.

Dudley: Are you bloody hard of hearing, woman? Get me a bleeding chocolate milkshake!

Vernon: [entering, and laying on the charm] Now, Dudley, I have a much *better* present than a *milkshake*.

Dudley: [flatly] A book.

Vernon: That's right. This is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and today, I'm going to read it to you.

Dudley: How about you just get me a chocolate shake and we call it even?

Vernon: I'm reading the god-damned book, boy.

Dudley: Has it got any sports in it?

Vernon: Are you kidding? Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles. [turns to the camera] Miracles? MIRACLES? You want me to read a -- I'm not having this book in my house. This book is leaving my house. There will be none of THAT in MY HOUSE.

_Vernon chucks the book out the window. Immediately, an owl swoops in and drops another copy in his lap. Vernon glares, chucks it again and closes the window. cut to_

**Outside,**   
where there's a long line of owls, clutching copies of _The Princess Bride_ , and dropping them down a chimney

_cut to_

**Dudley's room.**   
Vernon is sitting in a mound of _The Princess Bride_ s, glaring.

Vernon: Alright already! I'll ruddy well read the damn thing. [opens a copy] The Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern. What kind of name is that, I ask yo--

_An owl taps threateningly on the windowpane, and Vernon clears his throat._

Chapter One. Ginny was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin

_Dissolve to:_   
**The story he's reading about, as the monochromatic look of the bedroom is replaced by the dazzling color of the English countryside.**

Vernon: [off-screen]: Her favorite pastimes were riding her basilisk -- BASILISK? Not more of -- all right! all right! stop pecking me! -- and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Draco, but she never called him that.

Dudley: [off-screen] Wonderful story, Dad.

Vernon: [off-screen] Quiet, you. Nothing gave Ginny as much pleasure as ordering Draco around.

_Cut to:_   
**The Burrow -- Day**

Ginny is standing, holding the reins of her basilisk, while in the background, Draco, in the stable doorway, looks at her. Ginny is in her late teens; doesn't care much about clothes and she hates brushing her long hair, so she isn't as attractive as she might be, but she's still probably the most beautiful woman in the world.

Ginny: [giggling] Farm boy. Polish my basilisk. I want to see my face shining in his scales by morning.

Draco: Quit calling me that, Weaslette.

Ginny: That's NOT what you're supposed to say. **Farm boy**.

Draco: I'm not answering to "Farm Boy", and I'm not getting ordered around by a poor little mudblood-loving, red-headed disgrace to the name of wizard!

Ginny: Just polish the bloody serpent! [storms off]

**Draco is about a year older than Ginny, and as handsome as she is beautiful. He watches her as she walks away.**

Draco: Bitch.

Vernon: [off-screen] "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.

Dudley: Since when?

_Dissolve to:_

**Draco, outside,**   
pointing his wand at an axe that's chopping wood. He is pouting. Fiercely. Ginny drops two large buckets near him.

Ginny: Farm Boy. Fill these with water.

Draco: What's the magic word?

Ginny: NOW, Malfoy.

Draco: Actually, "now" is imbued with very little magic properties.

Ginny: And yet, if I point my wand at you and say now, I'm quite sure I can get you to do whatever I bloody well want.

Draco: Bitch.

Ginny exits. Draco's eyes stay on her. She stops, turns -- he manages to look away as now her eyes stay on him.

Vernon: [off-screen] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you."

Dudley: [off-screen] What if Mum made a chocolate shake for you, as well?

_Dissolve to:_   
**Ginny in the kitchen -- dusk**

Draco enters, floating firewood before him.

Vernon: [off-screen] And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

Ginny: [pointing to a pile of grapes on the table] Slave-boy, feed me those grapes, one at a time. Pre-peeled.

Draco points his wand at the grapes, muttering under his breath. The skin dissolves away, and he floats individual grapes over to Ginny.

Draco: Bitch. [He turns, moves outside.]

_Dissolve to:_   
**Draco and Ginny, outside his hovel**

They are locked in a passionate kiss.

Dudley [off-screen], Draco, and Ginny: WHAT?

_cut to:_   
**Dudley's room**

Dudley: What is this? Are you trying to trick me? -- Where's the sports? -- Is this a kissing book? Where's my chocolate shake?

Vernon: Wait, just wait.

Dudley: I don't want to wait. I *want* a *chocolate* *shake*!

Vernon: The sooner we finish this book, the sooner you can have your bloody milkshake. [reading again] Draco had no money --

Draco: [off-screen] **WHAT?**

Vernon: DRACO HAD NO MONEY. For marriage. So he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the sea.

_Cut to:_   
**Draco and Ginny**

They stand near the gate to the Burrow, glaring at each other.

Vernon: [off-screen] It was a very emotional time for Ginny.

Dudley: [off-screen] I don't be-leeve this.

Ginny: I hope I'll never see you again.

Draco: I should bloody well think you won't.

Ginny: Ooh! Maybe something bad will happen to you!

Draco: Hear this now. I will come for you. When pigs don't fly.

Ginny: Oh, fuck off already.

Draco: Ta, then.

They lean towards each other, about to kiss, then pull back, horrified, and glare at the camera. Draco stalks away. Ginny watches him go, cheering under her breath.

Vernon: [off-screen] Draco didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pir -- Auror Moody, who never left captives alive. When Ginny got the news that Draco was murdered --

Dudley: [perking up a little] -- murdered by pirat --er, aurors -- is pretty good --

_Cut to:_   
**Close up:**   
Ginny is staring out the window of her room. Behind her are streamers. Party horns are blowing. And there's a huge banner which keeps shouting "Good Riddance to Bad Wizards!" and "Malfoy Finally Got His" The room is strewn with empty butterbeer bottles.

Vernon: [off-screen] She went into room and shut the door. And for days, she neither slept nor ate.

Ginny: [stilted] Hic! I will -- hic! -- never love again.

**Hold on her face** Her lips twitch, as she tries to convey sadness for the death of Draco. After a minute, she gives and cracks up, giggling helplessly and singing softly "ding dong, the Malfoy's dead..."

_Dissolve to:_

  


**Florin Castle -- day**  
The main courtyard of Florin replete with townspeople, livestock, and a bustling marketplace.

Vernon: [off-screen] Five years later, the main square of Florin City was filled as never before to hear the announcement of the great Prince Voldemort's bride-to be

_Cut to_

**Prince Voldemort** , a man of incredible power and bearing, standing in his royal robes on a castle balcony. Three others standing behind him: an old couple with pointed hats , the aging King Albus and Queen Minerva, and a short, balding, shaking man with a silver hand. This is Count Wormtail.

Voldemort: [raises his hands, starts to speak] My people ... a month from now, our country will have its 500th anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a poor, ratty

_Count Wormtail coughs_

who was once a commoner like yourselves -- [pauses] -- but perhaps you will not find her common now. Would you like to meet her?

Crowd: Yeah, okay.

_Cut to:_

**A giant staircase leading to the crowd**   
as a figure just becomes visible

_Cut to:_

  
**The crowd** , as they see the figure, and collectively hold their breath,

_Cut to:_   
**The Staircase** as the figure appears in the archway. It is Ginny. And she is resplendent.

Voldemort: My people... the Princess Ginny!

She descends the stairs and starts to move among the people. Voldemort waves his wand while no one is looking and whispers "imperio", and the crowd suddenly kneels. Ginny is terribly moved. She stands immobile among her subjects, blinking back tears. Hold on her beauty for a moment.

Vernon: [off-screen] Ginny's emptiness consumed her. Although the law of the land gave Voldemort the right to choose his bride, she did not love him.

_Cut to:_   
**Woodlands**   
\-- and Ginny, barreling along, controlling her basilisk easily.

Vernon: [off-screen] Despite Voldemort's reassurance that she would grow to love him, the only joy she found was in her daily ride.

_Cut to:_   
**A wooded glen, close to sundown**   
Lovely, quiet, deserted. Ginny suddenly reins in.

Voice: A word, my lady?

_Cut to:_   
**Three men** , standing close together in the path. Beyond them can be seen the waters of Florin Channel. The three men are not your everyday commuter types. Standing in front is a tall man with a very unpleasant face. He is a potions professor and his name is Snape. Beside him is a young boy with a scar on his forehead, erect and taut as a blade of steel. His name is Harry Potter. Beside him is a giant. His name is Hagrid.

Snape: [whom we now recognize as the voice] Alone, Miss Weasley? Tut tut.

Ginny: [not realizing he's deviated from the script] There is nothing nearby; not for -- what?

Snape: [rolls his eyes] Salazar spare me from Gryffindors and bad acting.

He nods to the giant, Hagrid.

Hagrid: Yes, Professor?

Snape: Get the girl, you idiot.

Hagrid: But, er, Prof--

Snape: Look. It says in the script you knock her unconscious. Now, are you going to do what the script tells you, or do we have to send you back to Azkaban?

Hagrid: Sorry, Ginny.

He reaches over and presses a nerve in her neck.

Hagrid: [to Harry] That's the won'erful thing 'bout 'umans, 'Arry, if yeh know which nerve to --

_cut to_   
**a tiny isolated spot at the edge of Florin Channel**

A sailboat is moored. It's dusk now, shadows are long. Harry, grumbling under his breath as Snape glares at him, readies the boat.

_Cut to_   
**The giant Hagrid** carries Ginny, unconscious, on board.

Snapes rips some tiny pieces of fabric from an army jacket and tucks them along the saddle of Ginny's basilisk. There is about the entire operation a sense of tremendous skill and precision.

Hagrid: What's that yeh're rippin', Professor?

Snape: [not stopping or turning] It's fabric from the uniform of an Army officer of Guilder

Hagrid: Who's Guilder?

Snape: [pointing straight out] The country across the sea. [slaps the basilisk's side] Go!

The basilisk takes off. They start for the boat.

Snape: Once the basilisk reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be confirmed. I only mention this because Gryffindors are too dense to be able to understand so brilliant a plan all on their own.

Hagrid: Yeh never said anythin' 'bout killin' anyone.

Snape climbs onto the boat.

Snape: I've hired you to help me start a war. That's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition. 

Hagrid: I jes don' think it's right, killin' an innocent girl.

Snape: [whirling on Hagrid] Am I going mad or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

Harry: I agree with Hagrid.

_Cut to:_   
**Close up** : Snape, in a fury.

Snape: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not your concern, Potter. I *will* kill her. [louder] And remember this. NEVER forget this --

_cut to:_ >br> **Harry and Hagrid** , as Snape advances on them. Nothing shows on Harry's face, but Hagrid is clearly panicked by Snape.

Snape: FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!

He glares at them, then turns and sweeps to the other end of the boat, robes billowing behind him.

Harry: [under his breath] Oh, like *that*'s anything new...

He moves closer to Hagrid, who looks to be on the verge of tears.

Harry: [softly, emphasis on the last word] That Snape, he can fuss.

Hagrid: [looking at Harry] fuss... fuss... [suddenly he gets it; he also emphasizes the last word] I think he likes to scream at us.

Harry: Probably he means no harm -- what? Of course he does. Greasy git.

Hagrid: [over Harry] He's really very short on charm.

Harry: [proudly] You've got a great gift for rhyme.

Hagrid: Yes, some of the time.

Snape: [whirling on them] Enough of that.

As they sail off, we hear their voices as the boat recedes

Harry: Hagrid, are there rocks ahead?

Hagrid: If there are, we'll all be dead!

Snape: No more rhymes now, I mean it.

Hagrid: Anybody want a peanut?

Snape: 20 points from Gryffindor!

_Dissolve to:_   
**The sailboat racing across the dark waters**

Harry is at the helm, Hagrid stands near the body of the princess, whose eyelids flutter slightly -- or do they? Snape sits motionless. The waves are higher, there are only occasional flashes of moon slanting down between clouds. 

Snape: [to Harry] We'll reach the Cliffs by dawn.

Harry nods, glances back.

Snape: Why are you doing that?

Harry: Making sure nobody's following us.

Snape: That would be inconceivable.

Ginny: Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the Prince will see you all Crucio'd to death.

Snape turns a cold eye on the Princess. 

Snape: Of all the necks on this boat, Miss Weasley, the one you should be worrying about is your own.

Harry keeps staring behind them. 

Snape: Stop doing that. We can all relax, it's almost over-

Harry: You're sure nobody's following us?

Snape: As I told you, Mr. Potter, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done. And no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. Out of curiosity, why do you ask? 

Harry: [smirking] No reason. It's only, I just happened to look behind us, and something is there.

Snape: What?

And suddenly the three whirl, stare back and as they do -- 

_cut to:_   
**the darkness behind them**

It's hard to see; the moon is behind clouds now. But the wind whistles. And the waves pound. And suddenly it's all gone ominous. 

_Cut to:_   
**Harry, Hagrid and Snape** squinting back, trying desperately to see. At this moment, they are all holding their breaths. 

_Cut to:_   
**The darkness behind them**

And there's still nothing to be seen. It's still ominous. Only now it's eerie too. 

Then -- 

The moon slips through and -- 

Harry was right -- something is very much there. A sailboat. Black. With a great billowing sail. Black. It's a good distance behind them, but it's coming like hell, closing the gap. 

_cut to:_   
**Harry, Hagrid and Snape** , staring at the other boat.

Snape: Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night through eel-infested waters. [pauses] That is, without a doubt, one of the most idiotic things I have ever had the displeasure of being forced to utter. Of all the --

And now as a sound comes from their boat they turn as we 

_cut to:_   
**Ginny** , diving into the water, starting to swim away. 

_cut to:_   
**The boat** , and Snape glaring. Behind him, Hagrid's grinning happily and Harry is cheering.

Snape: Go in, get after her!

Harry: You honestly think those Muggles I call family taught me to *swim*? 

Hagrid: [to the unasked question] I only dog paddle.

Snape: Veer left. Left. Left!

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , still close to the boat, switching from a crawl to a silent breast stroke. The wind dies and as it does, something new is heard. A not-too-distant high-pitched shrieking sound. Ginny stops suddenly, treads water. 

_Cut to:_   
**The boat**

Snape: Do you know what that sound is, Miss Weasley? Those are the Shrieking Eels -- if you doubt me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh.

Hagrid: The trick to Shrieking Eels is--

Snape: Shut UP.

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , treading water, still not far from the boat. The shrieking sounds are getting louder and more terrifying. Ginny stays silent.

_Cut to:_   
**The boat**

Snape: If you swim back now, I promise no harm will come to you. I doubt you'll get such an offer from the Eels.

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , and she's a gutsy girl. The shrieking sound is louder still, but she doesn't make a sound. Behind her now, something dark and gigantic slithers past.

She's scared, sure, petrified, who wouldn't be, but she makes no reply --

\-- and now a shrieking eel has zeroed in on her -- 

\-- and now she sees it, a short distance away, circling, starting to close -- 

\-- and Ginny slowly reaches for her wand, muttering "petrificus totalis" under her breath -- 

\-- and the Eel slithers closer, closer -- 

\-- and Ginny knows it's now or never -- 

\-- and now the Eel opens its mouth wide, and it's never made such a noise, and as its great jaws are about to clamp down -- 

Vernon: [off-screen] No eating!

_cut to:_   
**Dudley's room**

Dudley looks the same, fat and weak. As his dad looks up from the book, he hastily stuffs a pack of cookies under his pillow, and swallows.

Dudley: What?

Vernon: Give me the cookies.

Dudley: Give me a chocolate shake.

Vernon: Dudley, hand over the cookies now or you'll meet a Smelting Stick like you never have before.

Dudley: [grumbles]

Vernon: Shut up and listen to this book before the bloody birds come back. [reading] Do you know what that sound is, Miss Weasley?

_Cut to:_   
**Snape**

We're back in the boat.

Snape: Those are the Shrieking Eels.

Dudley: [off-screen] You already read that part, Dad.

Vernon: Good catch.

_cut to:_   
**Ginny** , treading water.

Vernon: [off-screen] All right, all right, let's see. Uh, she was in the water, the Eel was coming after her. She was frightened. The Eel started to charge her. And then -

And we're back where we were at the last moment we saw her, Ginny with wand out, the Shrieking Eel, jaws wide, about to clamp down as we 

_Cut to:_   
**A giant arm** , pounding the Eel unconscious in one move, then easily lifting Ginny up.

_Pull back to reveal:_   
**The boat** and Hagrid, depositing Ginny on deck.

Hagrid: Worse 'n Dennis Creevey, you are.

Snape: Just dump her.

_Cut to:_   
**Harry** , pointing behind them.

Harry: I think he's getting closer.

Snape: [mutters something, and ropes shoot from his want, tying Ginny's hands together] He's no concern of ours. Sail on! [to Ginny] I suppose you think you're *brave*, don't you. 

Ginny: [glaring at him] Compared to some, yeah.

Snape: 10 points from Gryffindor.

_Dissolve to:_   
**The boat at dawn** , being followed closely by the black sailboat, which we can see for the first time is being sailed by a Man in Black, and his boat almost seems to be flying.

Harry: Look! He's right on top of us!

Snape: Whoever he is, he's too late. [points ahead of them] See? The Cliffs of Insanity.

_Cut to:_   
**The Cliffs of Insanity** , at dawn. They rise straight up, sheer from the water, impossibly high.

_Cut to:_   
**The two sailboats** in a wild race for the Cliffs and The Man in Black is closing faster than ever, but not fast enough, the lead was too great to overcome, and as Inigo sails with great precision straight at the Cliffs.

_Cut to:_   
**The boat** being pursued.

Snape: Hurry up. Move the thing! Um ... that other thing. Move it! [stares back] We're safe -- only Hagrid is stupid -- er. strong enough to go up our way -- he'll have to sail around for hours until he finds a harbor. 

There is much activity going on, all of it swift, expert, economical. Hagrid reaches up along the Cliff face, grabs a jutting rock, reaches behind it. Suddenly there is a thick rope in his hands. He drops back to the boat, gives the rope a freeing swing and 

_Cut to:_   
**The Cliffs.**

The rope goes all the way to the top. 

Harry hurrys to Hagrid. He straps a harness to him, then lifts Ginny and Snape in the harness. Finally, he himself gets in the harness. All three are strapped to Hagrid like papooses. 

And he starts to ascend the rope, carrying them all along with him as he goes. 

_Cut to_ :   
**The Man in Black** , sailing in toward the Cliffs of Insanity, watching as Hagrid rises swiftly through the first moments of dawn. 

_Cut to_ :   
**The top of the Cliffs, looking down**

Hagrid's group is only faintly visible far below. This is the first time we've gotten the real vertigo feeling and it's a gasper. 

_Cut to:_   
**Hagrid climbing on**. Ginny is petrified. Snape is smirking.

__Cut to:__   
**The entire length of the Cliffs**

Hagrid is moving right along; however high they are, he's already over a third of the way done. 

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , leaping from his ship to the rope, starting to climb. He's impossibly far behind, but the way he goes you'd think he didn't know that because he is flying up the rope, hand over hand like lightning. 

__Cut to:__   
**Snape and the others**

Harry: [looking down] He's climbing the rope. And he's gaining on us.

Snape: Inconceivable!

He prods Hagrid, who nods, increases his pace. 

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , roaring up the rope, and

__Cut to:__   
**Long shot -- The Cliffs**

\-- and The Man in Black is cutting deeply into Hagrid's lead.

__Cut to:__   
**Snape and the others**

Snape: [shrieking] Faster!

Hagrid: I thought I was going faster.

Snape: You were supposed to be this colossus. You were this great, legendary thing. And yet he gains.

Hagrid: Well, I'm carrying three people. And he's got only himself.

Snape: [cutting through] -- I do not accept excuses. [shakes his head] I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all.

Hagrid: [hurt] Don' say that, Professor, please?

And his arms begin moving much more quickly.

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black.**

His arms still work as before. If anything, he has speeded up. Hagrid's lead is smaller and smaller

__Cut to:__   
**The view from the top of the cliffs**

Maybe a hundred feet for Hagrid to go. Maybe more.

__Cut to:__   
**Snape and the others** , and it's getting too close now.

Snape: Did I make it clear that your job is at stake?

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , less than a hudred feet behind them. And gaining.

__Cut to:__   
**The cliff top as Hagrid makes it**

Snape leaps off and takes out a knife, begins to cut the rope which is tied around a great rock while Harry helps the Princess to her feet and Hagrid just stands around, waiting for someone to tell him to do something. Nearby are some stone ruins. Once they might have been a fort, now the kind of resemble Stonehenge.

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , 75 feet from the top now, maybe less -- maybe only 50 -- and his pace is as dazzling as before, and

__Cut to:__   
**Snape** , cutting through the last of the rope and

__Cut to:__   
**The Rope** , slithering across the ground and out of sight toward the Channel, like some great serpent at last going home. 

__Cut to:__   
**Hagrid** , standing with Harry and Ginny by the cliff edge. 

Hagrid: [to Harry -- impressed] 'E 'as very good arms.

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , hanging suspended hundreds of feet in the air, holding to the jagged rocks, desperately trying to cling to life. 

__Cut to:__   
**Snape** , stunned, turning to the others, looking down.

Snape: He didn't fall? Inconceivable!!

Harry: [whirling on Snape] Stop saying that word! You have *no* *clue* what it means, and it's driving me crazy! [looks back over the cliff] Hey! He's climbing. Good for him. Maybe he'll come slit your slimy throat.

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , and so he is climbing. Very slowly, he is picking his way upwards, sometimes a foot at a time, sometimes an inch. 

__Cut to:__   
**The group at the top** , staring down.

Snape: Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the Princess, and must therefore die. [to Hagrid] You, carry her. [to Harry] We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword.

Harry nods.

Harry: I want to duel him left-handed.

Snape: Always showing off, eh Potter?

Harry: [shrugs] What can I say? I'm bored.

Snape: [turns abruptly, starts off-screen] Oh, have it your way.

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , still creeping his way upward.

__Cut to:__   
**Hagrid** , who goes to Harry.

Hagrid: You be careful, now 'Arry. [gravely] -- people in masks cannot be trusted. Slytherins an' Death Eaters, the lot o' them.

Snape: [calling out] I'm waiting!

Hagrid nods, hurries after Snape.

__Cut to:__   
**Harry.**

He watches them depart, then turns, peers down over the Cliffs. He watches a moment, then paces, shaking his hands loose. He practices a few of his honed fencing skills. He is a taut and nervous fellow, and has never been one for waiting around.

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** ,

climbing on. He must be six inches closer to the top than when last we saw him. Harry is watching.

__Cut to:__   
**Harry** , walking away. Finally he goes back to cliff edge, starts to talk. It's instant death if The Man in Black falls, but neither gives that possibility much credence. This is our two heroes meeting. They don't know it yet; but that's what it is.

Harry: [hollering down] Hello there.

The Man in Black glances up, kind of grunts. 

Harry: Slow going?

Man in Black: Look, I don't mean to be rude -- no, wait. That's exactly what I mean. This is not as easy as it looks. So I'd appreciate it if you would shut up and let me get on with it. Prat.

Harry: Sorry.

Man in Black: Do you not understand the meaning of the word shut up?

Harry: That's two words.

Man in Black: Here's two more: Fuck. Off.

Harry steps away, draws his sword (which once belonged to Godric Gryffindor), loosens up with a few perfect thrusts. Then resheathes and looks eagerly over the edge again. 

Harry: I don't suppose you could speed things up?

Man in Black: [with some heat] If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a broom, or find something useful to do.

Harry: I could do that. In fact, I've got a Firebolt up here. But I don't think that you'll accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.

Man in Black: How do the Muggles put it? DUH.

(He finds another hold a few inches higher)

Harry: But I promise I won't kill you until you reach the top.

Man in Black: And I'm supposed to trust that? Do I look like a Hufflepuff?

Harry: I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Gryffindor.

Man in Black: No good. I've known too many Gryffindors.

And he just hangs there in space, resting, gathering his strength.

Harry: You don't know any way you'll trust me?

Man in Black: Nothing comes to mind.

And on these words, CAMERA ZOOMS into a CLOSE UP on Harry. He raises his right hand high, his eyes blaze, and his voice takes on a tone we have not heard before. 

Harry: I swear on the soul of my father, James Potter, you will reach the top alive.

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black.**

There is a pause. Then, quietly: 

Man in Black: Yeah, right.

Harry: No, really. Here.

__Cut to:__   
**Harry.**

He points his wind at a broomstick and mutters "wingardium leviosa."

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** ,

as his grip loosens a moment, trying to cling to the side of the cliff.

__Cut to:__   
**Harry** , now carefully floating the broomstick over the edge of the cliff and down to The Man in Black

__Cut to:__   
**The Firebolt**

It hangs close to The Man in Black. He releases the rocks, climbs on, hangs helplessly in space a moment, then looks up at Harry and -- 

__Cut to:__   
**Harry** ,

lifting the spell, so The Man in Black can control the broomstick.

__Cut to:__   
The Man in Black

rising through the early morning light, slowly, steadily, and as the cliff top at last comes within reach --

__Cut to:__   
**Harry** , watching as The Man in Black lands, then looks to Harry.

Man in Black: Thank you. I always appreciate the help of idiots. [pulling his sword]

Harry: We'll wait until you're ready.

Man in Black: [smirks] Again. Thank you.

The Man in Black sits to rest on the boulder that once held the rope. He tugs off his leather boots and is amazed to see several large rocks tumble out. The Man in Black wears gloves. Harry stares at them. 

Harry: Not to pry or anything, but I don't suppose your right hand is silver?

The Man in Black glances up -- the question clearly baffles him.

Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way?

Harry: My father was betrayed by a silver-handed man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the silver-handed man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done.

He hands his sword to The Man in Black. 

Man in Black: [snorts] Bloody flashy thing, if you ask me.

__Cut to:__   
**Close Up - Harry**.

Even now, this still brings pain.

Harry: The silver-handed man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the silver-handed man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so, naturally, challenged his murderer to a duel ... I failed ... the silver-handed man did leave me alive with this sword, but because of him, I have this.

He touches his scar.

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , looking up at Harry.

Man in Black: Ugly thing, isn't it.

Harry: [ignoring him] I was one year old.

Man in Black: When you fought a duel.

Harry: Look, are you going to argue over everything, or let me get this speech over so we can start fighting?

Man in Black: [waves his hand] Soliloquize away.

Harry: I was one year old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the silver-handed man and say, "Hello, my name is Harry Potter. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Man in Black: You've done nothing but study swordplay?

Harry: More pursuit than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Snape to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.

Man in Black: [handing back the great sword, starting to rise] Ugly *and* poor. Sucks to be you.

Harry: You are ready, then?

Man in Black: Better than listening to you drone on.

Harry: You seem like an asshole. I'm gonna love killing you.

Man in Black: [walking away a few paces, unsheathing his sword] You seem like an asshole. I'm gonna love watching you die.

Harry: Begin!

And on that word -- 

__Cut to:__   
**The two of them**.

And what we are starting now is one of the two greatest sword fights in modern movies (the other one happens later on), and right from the beginning it looks different. 

Because they aren't close to each other -- none of the swords-crossing "en garde" garbage. 

No, what we have here is two men, two athletes, and they look to be too faraway to damage each other, but each time one makes even the tiniest feint, the other counters, and there is silence, and as they start to circle -- 

__Cut to:__   
**Godric Gryffindor's sword** , feinting here, feinting there and --

__Cut to:__   
**The two men** , finished teasing, begin to duel in earnest.

Their swords cross, then again, again, and the sound comes so fast it's almost continual. Harry presses on, The Man in Black retreating up a rocky incline. 

Harry: [thrilled] You're using Bonetti's defense against me, ah?

Man in Black: Uh, yeah. Sure.

Harry: Naturally, you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro --

And he shifts his style now. 

Man in Black: [coping as best he can] Whatever. [suddenly shifting again] Won't you just die already?

The Man in Black is now perched at the edge of the elevated castle ruin. No where to go, he jumps to the sand. Harry stares down at him. 

Harry: You first.

And now, with the grace of an Olympian, Harry flies off the perch, somersaults clean over The Man in Black's head, and lands facing his opponent. 

Harry: Asshole.

The two men are almost flying across the rocky terrain, never losing balance, never coming close to stumbling; the battle rages with incredible finesse, first one and then the other gaining the advantage, and by now, it's clear that this isn't just two athletes going at it, it's a lot more that that. This is two legendary swashbucklers and they're in their prime, it's Burt Lancaster in "The Crimson Pirate" battling Errol Flynn in "Robin Hood" and then, incredibly, the action begins going even faster than before as we

__Cut to:__   
**Harry**.

And behind him now, drawing closer all the time, is the deadly edge of the Cliffs of Insanity. Harry fights and ducks and feints and slashes and it all works, but not for long, as gradually The Man in Black keeps the advantage, keeps forcing Harry back, closer and closer to death. 

Harry: You're pretty decent.

Man in Black: Decent. DECENT? How about effing AWESOME. How about THAT?

The Cliff edge is very close now. Harry is continually being forced toward it. 

Harry: I admit it -- you're better 'n me.

Man in Black: Then why are you smiling? Are you stupid or something? Oh wait, you are.

Inches from defeat, Harry is, in fact, all smiles. 

Harry: [smugly] I'm smiling because I know something you don't know.

Man in Black: Nanny-nanny-poo-poo?

Harry: I am not left-handed.

And he throws Godric Gryffindor's sword into his right hand and immediately, the tide of battle turns. 

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , stunned, doing everything be can to keep Harry by the Cliff edge. But no use. Slowly at first, he begins to retreat. Now faster, Harry is in control and The Man in Black is desperate.

__Cut to:__   
**Harry**. And Gryffindor's sword is all but invisible now, as he increases his attack, then suddenly switches styles again.

__Cut to:__   
**A rocky staircase** leading to a turret-shaped plateau, and The Man in Black is retreating like mad up the steps and he can't stop Harry -- nothing can stop Harry -- and in a frenzy, The Man in Black makes every feint, tries every thrust, lets go with all he has left. But he fails. Everything fails. He tries one or two final desperate moves but they are nothing.

Man in Black: Shit.

Harry: I ought to be pretty good after twenty years, you pillock.

And now The Man in Black is smashed into a stone pillar, pinned there under Gryffindor's sword.

Man in Black: I know something you don't know.

Harry: Nanny-nanny-poo-poo?

Man in Black: No. Well, yes. But also, I am not left-handed either.

And now he changes hands, and at last, the battle is fully joined.

__Cut to:__   
**Harry**.

And to his amazement, he is being forced back down the steps. He tries one style, another, but it all comes down to the same thing -- The Man in Black seems to be in control. And before Harry knows it, Gryffindor's sword is knocked clear out of his hand.

Harry retreats, dives from the stairs to a moss-covered bar suspended over the archway. He swings out, lands, and scrambles to his sword and we

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** who watches Harry, then casually tosses his sword to the landing where it sticks in perfectly. Then The Man in Black copies Harry. Not copies exactly, improves. He dives to the bar, swings completely over it like a circus performer and dismounts with a 9.7 backflip.

__Cut to:__   
**Harry** , staring in awe.

Harry: Who are you?!

Man in Black: Wouldn't you like to know?

Harry: Well, yeah. That's why I asked.

Man in Black: Get used to disappointment.

Harry: Okay.

__Cut to:__   
**Harry** , moving like lightning, and he thrusts forward, slashes, darts back, all in almost a single movement and --

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black**. Dodging, blocking, and again he thrusts forward, faster even than before, and again he slashes but --

__Cut to:__   
**Harry**. And there is never a move anyone makes he doesn't remember, and this time he blocks the slash, slashes out himself with Gryffindor's sword.

On it goes, back and forth across the rocky terrain, Harry's feet moving with the grace and speed of a great improvisational dancer.

__Cut to:__   
**Gryffindor's sword** as it is knocked free, arching up into the air, and --

__Cut to:__   
**Harry** catching it again. And something terrible is written behind his eyes: he has given his all, done everything man can do, tried every style, made every maneuver, but it wasn't enough, and on his face for all to see is the realization that he, Harry Potter, is going to lose.

__Cut to:__   
**The Man in Black** , moving in for the end now, blocking everything, muzzling everything and

__Cut to:__   
**Gryffindor's sword** , sent flying from Harry's grip. He stands helpless only a moment. Then be drops to his knees, bows his head, shuts his eyes.

Harry: Kill me quickly.

Man in Black: No. I prefer a long, drawn-out, painfuld death. Sadly, there's no time for that now...

And he dunks Harry's head with his heavy sword handle. Harry pitches forward unconscious.

Man in Black: but I'm sure I'll get back you eventually.

He grabs his scabbard and takes off after the Princess and we

_Cut to:_   
**Close up** : Snape

Snape: Inconceivable!

_Pull back to reveal_   
**Snape** , staring down from a narrow mountain path, as far below the Man in Black can be seen running. Hagrid, carrying the Princess, stands alongside. It's a little later in the morning.

Snape: Give her to me. [grabs Ginny starts off] Catch up with us quickly.

Hagrid: [starting to panic] What do I do?

Snape: Finish him, finish him. Your way.

Hagrid: Oh, good, my way. Thank you, Professor. [little pause] Which way is my way?

_Cut to:_   
**A couple of rocks** Nothing gigantic. Snape points to them. There is a large boulder nearby.

Snape: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind the boulder, and in a few minutes, the Man in Black will come running around the bend. The minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock!

As Snape and Ginny hurry away. 

Hagrid: [little frown; softly] My way's not very sportsmanlike.

He grabs one of the rocks and plods behind the boulder and we --

_Dissolve to:_   
**The Man in Black** , racing up the mountain trail. Ahead is a bend in the trail. He sees it, slows. Then he stops, listening.

Satisfied by the silence, he starts forward again and as he rounds the bend -- a rock flies into the frame, shattering on a boulder inches in front of him. 

_Cut to:_   
**Hagrid.** He moves into the mountain path. He has picked up another rock and holds it lightly.

Hagrid: I did that on purpose. I don't have to miss.

Man in Black: I believe you -- So what happens now?

Hagrid: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.

Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people?

Hagrid: [gently] I could kill you now.

He gets set to throw, but The Man in Black shakes his head, takes off his sword and scabard, begins the approach toward the Giant. 

Man in Black: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.

Hagrid: It's no' my fault being the biggest an' the strongest. I don' even exercise.

He flips the rock away.

Man in Black: [drawing a wand from his sleeve] Stupefy!

Hagrid falls.

Man in Black: Idiot.

_Cut to:_   
**Prince Voldemort** , as he slips his boot into a foot print in the sand.

Count Wormtail mounted, watches. Behind him, half a dozen armed Death Eaters, also mounted. A great white horse waits riderless in front. Voldemort is all over the rocky ground, and maybe he isn't the best hunter in the world. Then again, maybe he is. Because, as he begins to put his feet into strange positions, we realize that what he is doing is miming the fencers.

Voldemort: There was a duel -- it ranged all over. They were both masters.

Wormtail: Who won, my Lord? How did it end?

Voldemort: [looking down in the position where Harry fell unconscious] The loser ran off alone. [points in the direction Snape and Hagrid took] The winner followed those footprints toward Guilder!

Wormtail: Shall we track them both, my Lord?

Voldemort: The loser is nothing. -- Only the Princess matters --[to the armed death eaters] -- clearly this was all planned by warriors of Guilder. We must be ready for whatever lies ahead.

Wormtail: Could this be a trap?

Voldemort: [vaulting onto his horse] I always think everything could be a trap -- Which is why I'm still alive.

And he gallops off --

_Cut to:_   
**The Man in Black** , cresting the peak of the mountain.

_Cut to:_   
**Close-up on** a wand pointed at a throat -- pull back to reveal Snape munching on an apple, holding the wand to Ginny's throat. She is blindfolded.

A picnic spread is laid out. A tablecloth, two goblets and between them, a small leather wine container. And some cheese and a couple of apples. The picnic is set on a lovely spot, high on the edge of a mountain path with a view all the way back to the sea. 

The Man in Black comes running around the path, sees Snape, slows. The two men study each other. Then --

Snape: So, it is down to you. And it is down to me.

The Man in Black nods and comes nearer --

Snape: If you wish her dead, by all means keep moving forward.

And he pushes his wand harder against Ginny's unprotected throat. 

Man in Black: [brightens] Really?

Snape: Just follow the script.

Man in Black: [dangerously close to whining] But Professor

Snape: Do it!

Man in Black: [stilted] Let me explain --

Snape: -- there's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.

Man in Black: Perhaps an arrangement can be reached.

Snape: There will be no arrangement -- [deliberate] -- and you're killing her!

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny'S throat** as Snape jabs with his wand. Ginny gasps against the pain.

_Cut to:_

The Man in Black: [mutters] I wish.

Snape glares.

Man in Black: [returning to the script] But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.

Snape: I'm afraid so -- I can't compete with you physically. And you're no match for my brains.

Man in Black: Oh, whatever.

Snape: Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Man in Black: Muggles, right?

Snape: Morons.

Man in Black: In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.

Snape: For the Princess?

The Man in Black nods. 

Snape: To the death?

Another nod. 

Snape: I accept.

Man in Black: Good. Then pour the wine.

As Snape fills the goblets with the dark red liquid, The Man in Black pulls a small packet from his clothing, handing it to him. 

Man in Black: Inhale this, but do not touch.

Snape: [doing it] I smell nothing.

Man in Black: [taking the packet back] What you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadlier poisons known to man.

Snape: You only know that because I taught it to you.

Man in Black: What happened to following the script?

Snape: Carry on.

_Cut to:_   
**Snape** , watching excitedly as The Man in Black takes the goblets, turns his back. A moment later, he turns again, faces Snape, drops the iocane packet. It is now empty.

The Man in Black rotates the goblets in a little shell game maneuver then puts one glass in front of Snape, the other in front of himself. 

Man in Black: All right: where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.

Snape: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy's?

He studies The Man in Black now. 

Snape: Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I'm not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have Counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: [And now there's a trace of nervousness beginning] You've made your decision then?

Snape: Not remotely, you silly boy. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Man in Black: [sarcastically] Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Snape: [snaps] Wait till I get going! Where was I?

Man in Black: Australia.

Snape: Yes -- Australia, and you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, since I TAUGHT YOU ITS USES so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: [rolls his eyes] You're just stalling now.

Snape: [cackling] You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? [stares at The Man in Black] You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong. So, you could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested Potter which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

As Snape's pleasure has been growing throughout, The Man in Black's has been fast disappearing. 

Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something -- it won't work --

Snape: [triumphant] It has worked, idiot -- you've given everything away -- I know where the poison is.

Man in Black: Then make your choice.

Snape: I will. And I choose --

And suddenly he stops, points at something behind The Man in Black. 

Snape: -- what in the world can that be?

_Cut to:_   
**The Man in Black** , turning around, looking.

Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.

_Cut to:_   
**Snape** , busily switching the goblets while The Man in Black has his head turned.

Snape: Oh, well, I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.

The Man in Black turns to face him again. Snape starts to laugh.

Man in Black: What's so funny?

Snape: I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink -- me from my glass, and you from yours.

And he picks up his goblet. The Man in Black picks up the one in front of him. As they both start to drink, Snape hesitates a moment. 

Then, allowing The Man in Black to drink first, he swallows his wine.

Man in Black: You guessed wrong.

Snape: [cackles] You only think I guessed wrong -- that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned. You fool.

_Cut to:_   
**The Man in Black**. There's nothing he can say. He just sits there.

_Cut to:_   
**Snape** , watching him.

Snape: You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Potions Master when death is on the line."

He laughs and roars and cackles and whoops and is in all ways quite frighteningly cheery until he falls over dead.

_Cut to:_   
**The Man in Black** , stepping past the corpse, taking the blindfold and bindings off Ginny, who notices Snape lying dead.

The Man in Black pulls her to her feet.

Ginny: Who are you?

Man in Black: I am no one to be trifled with, that is all you ever need know.

He starts to lead her off the mountain path into untraveled terrain.

Ginny: [a final glance back toward Snape] To think -- all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.

Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. [grins] Snape is just an idiot.

And with that, he takes off, dragging her behind him.

_Cut to:_   
**A mountain path**

It's where Hagrid fought The Man in Black. Camera pulls back to reveal the Prince, kneeling, inspecting every grain of misplaced sand. The others wait behind him.

Voldemort: Someone has beaten a giant! [roaring] There will be great suffering in Guilder if she dies. 

He leaps onto his horse and they charge off.

_Cut to:_   
**A wild stretch of terrain**

The Man in Black comes running into view, still dragging Ginny, who sometimes stumbles, but he keeps forcing her along. Finally, when she is close to exhaustion, he lets go of her.

Man in Black: [his voice harsh now, carrying the promise of violence] Catch your breath.

Ginny: If you'll release me ... whatever you ask for ransom ... you'll get it, I promise you...

Man in Black: And what is that worth, the promise of a Weasley? You're very funny, Highness.

Ginny: I was giving you a chance. No matter where you take me ... there's no greater hunter than Prince Voldemort. He could track a falcon on a cloudy day. He can find you.

Man in Black: You think your dearest love will save you?

Ginny: I never said he was my dearest love. But Tom will always come for me. That I know.

Man in Black: You admit to me you do not love your fiance?

Ginny: He knows I do not love him. Great, ugly, red-eyed white-skinned freak.

Man in Black: "Are not capable of love" is what you mean.

Ginny: I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream.

And the Man in Black cocks back a fist. Ginny flinches, but does not retreat.

Man in Black: That was a warning, Highness. The next time, my hand flies on its own. For where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies.

_Cut to:_   
**Snape's body.**

The picnic is spread as before. 

Camera pulls back to reveal the Prince kneeling by the body as the others ride up. The Prince grabs the empty poison packet, hands it to Wormtail, after first sniffing it himself.

Voldemort: Iocane. I'd bet my life on it. [laughs] Of course, I'm immortal. [gestures to the trail ahead] And there are the Princess's footprints. She is alive ... or was, an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her, I shall be very put out.

And as he vaults onto his horse and the all charge off --

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , being spun into camera view, falling heavily as The Man in Black releases her. We are at the edge of an almost sheer ravine. The drop is sharp and severe. Below, the ravine floor is flat, but getting there would not be half the fun.

Man in Black: Rest, Highness.

Ginny: [stares at him] I know who you are -- your cruelty reveals everything.

The Man in Black says nothing.

Ginny: You're the Dread Auror Moody; admit it.

Man in Black: With pride. What can I do for you?

Ginny: You killed Draco Malfoy. [grins] Thanks.

_Cut to:_   
**The Man in Black** watching her closely.

Man in Black: It's possible; I kill a lot of people. Who was this love of yours? Another Prince, like this one, ugly, rich, and scabby?

Ginny: No. A farm boy. Poor. Poor and perfect, with eyes like the sea after a storm.

Man in Black: I am NOT POOR -- I mean. Carry on.

Ginny: On the high seas, your ship attacked, and the Dread Auror Moody never takes prisoners.

Man in Black: [explaining as a teacher might] I can't afford to make exceptions. Once word leaks out that an auror has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it's nothing but work, work, work, all the time.

Ginny: You mock me?

Man in Black: It's so easy. [grins] Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something. I remember this [coughs] farm boy of yours, I think. This would be, what, five years ago?

Ginny nods.

Man in Black: Does it bother you to hear?

Ginny: Didn't I just thank you for it? Nothing you can say will upset me.

Man in Black: He died well, that should please you. 

Ginny: Fucker --

Man in Black: [over her] No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said, "Please. Please, I need to live." It was the "please" that caught my memory. I asked him what was so important for him. "This bitch I need to get back to kill," he replied. And then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and stupidity. I can only assume he meant you. Now, tell me truly. When you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your Prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?

Ginny: You mocked me once, never do it again!

The Man in Black is about to reply as they stand there on the edge of the sheer ravine. But then something catches his attention and as he stares at it briefly,

_Cut to:_   
**His P.O.V.** :

The dust cloud caused by Voldemort's horses is rising up into the sky.

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , and while his attention is on the dust cloud, rising high, she pushes him with all the strength she has.

Ginny: You can die too, for all I care!!

_Cut to:_   
**The Man in Black** , teetering on the ravine edge, for a moment, then he begins to fall. Down goes The Man in Black. Down, down, rolling, spinning, crashing always down toward the flat rock floor of the ravine.

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , staring transfixed at what she has wrought.

There is a long pause. She stands there, alone, as from far below the words come to ber, drifting on the wind --

Man in Black: Bitch!

Ginny: Draco? Shit.

She peers over the edge to see if it's really him, and then she too is falling, spinning and twisting, crashing and torn, cartwheeling down toward what is left of Malfoy.

_Cut to:_   
**The dust cloud** , rising.

_Pull back to reveal:_   
**Prince Voldemort** and the others reining in at the spot where Ginny promised ransom in exchange for her freedom. The Prince shakes his head.

Voldemort: Disapperated. He must have seen us closing in, which might account for his panicking in error. Unless I'm wrong, and I am never wrong, they are headed dead into the fire swamp.

_Cut to:_   
Count Wormtail. The mere mention of the Fire Swamp makes him pale.

_Cut to:_   
**The ravine floor**

Two bodies lie a few feet apart, not moving. It is, of course, Ginny and Draco. They might be corpses. After a time, Draco slowly forces his body into motion and as he does,

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , bruised and torn, as Draco crawls slowly toward her.

Draco: What the fuck did you do that for?

Ginny: (weakly stretching out an arm toward him) You're alive. I was hoping to kill you.

Draco: I told you, "I would always come for you." Why didn't you wait for me?

Ginny: Well ... you were dead.

Draco: Death cannot stop true love. Or, in our case, burning hatred. All it can do is delay it for a while.

Ginny: I will never doubt again.

Draco: There will never be a need.

And now, they begin to kiss; it's a tender kiss, tender and loving and gentle and --

Dudley [off-screen], Draco and Ginny: Oh no. No, please.

_Cut to:_   
**Draco's bedroom**

Vernon: What is it? What's the matter?

Dudley: I can't take them snogging without having a chocolate shake.

Vernon: For the last time, you're not getting a shake.

Dudley: Skip on to the Fire Swamp -- that sounded good.

Vernon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah. Oh. Okay. Draco and Ginny raced along the ravine floor.

_Cut to:_   
**Draco and Ginny** racing along the ravine floor. Draco glances up.

_Cut to:_   
**Voldemort and his men** perched on top of the cliff, looking down at Draco and Ginny.

_Cut to:_   
**Draco.**

Draco: Ha. Your pig fiancé is too late. A few more steps and we'll be safe in the Fire Swamp.

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , and Draco has tried to say it with Chevalier-like nonchalance, but she ain't buying.

Ginny: We'll never survive.

Draco: Nonsense -- you're only saying that because no one ever has.

As they race off, leaving Voldemort and his men stranded, defeated.

_Cut to:_   
**The Fire Swamp**

And it really doesn't look any worse than any other moist, sulphurous, infernal horror you might run across. Great trees block the sun.

_Cut to:_   
**Draco and Ginny.** Ginny is clearly panicked and maybe Draco is too, but he moves jauntily along, sword in hand.

Draco: It's not that bad. I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely. You know. If you like great big ugly killer sticks of wood that block out all daylight.

A giant spurt of flame leaps up, preceded by a slight popping sound, and this particular spurt of flame misses Draco, but Ginny is suddenly onfire; at least the lower half of her is and -- 

_Cut to:_   
**Draco** , laughing as Ginny shrieks, stops, drops, and rolls.

Draco: Idiot.

He examines where the flames burst over her.

Draco: Singed a bit, were you?

Ginny: [haughtily] No, I was not. No thanks to you.

_Cut to:_   
**The swamp floor** \-- and as there's another popping sound,

_Cut to:_   
**Draco grabbing Ginny** , pulling her aside to safety as another great spun of flame suddenly shoots up.

Draco: [to the camera] Look, I'm not exactly a Gryffindor here. Can we keep the acts of altruism to a minimum?

_Cut to:_   
**The two of them** moving slowly along through a particularly dangerous part of the Fire Swamp.

It's later now, the sun slants down at a slightly different angle.

Draco: [happily] This will all soon be but a fucking awful memory because Moody's ship "Revenge" is anchored at the far end. And I, as you know, am Moody.

Ginny: But how is that possible, since he's been marauding twenty years and you only left me five years ago?

Draco: Two words: Polyjuice Potion.

Ginny, perplexed, is about to reply but the ground she steps on gives way -- it's Lightning Sand -- a great patch of it, and it has her -- a cloud of powder rises and she sinks into the stuff crying Draco's name but then she is gone as we --

_Cut to:_   
**Draco whirling** , slashing at a U-shaped vine, hacks it in half -- it's still connected to the tree. Then be grabs it, drops his sword, and, clutching the other end of the vine, he dives into the lightning sand and there is another cloud of white powder, but it settles quickly.

Now nothing can be seen. Nothing at all. Just the lightning sand, lovely and lethal.

_Hold on the lightening sand -- then --_

An odd panting sound is heard now. The panting sound is suddenly very loud. And then a giant C.O.U.S. darts into view. The C.O.U.S. -- a Canine of Unusual Size -- is probably about 140 pounds of bone and power. It sniffs around a bit then, as quickly as it has come, it goes.

_Cut to:_   
**The lightening sand** , as Draco, lungs long past the bursting point, explodes out; he has Ginny across his shoulders and as he pulls to the edge of the lightning sand pit, using the vine --

_Cut to:_   
**Close-up - Ginny**.

Her face is caked with the white powder. It is in her eyes, her ears, hair, mouth. She's still probably beautiful, but you have to look awfully hard to see it. As Draco continues to pull them to safety --

_Cut to:_   
**The C.O.U.S.** , crouching near them; it watches --

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , placed against a tree. Draco is cleaning the lightning sand from her face.

He hesitates, glances around and

_Cut to:_   
**The C.O.U.S.** by a much closer bush now. It stares at Draco.

Draco stares back at the beast. Ginny is oblivious. Her eyes flutter. He continues to work on her as --

Ginny: Did you just save my life?

Draco: [put out] Well, don't go spreading it around. [glances back again]

Now there are two C.O.U.S.'s, one looking distinctly werewolf-like. They have inched closer, and stare hungrily.

_Cut to:_   
**Draco** , picking her up. He puts an arm around her, starts to walk with her as he encouragingly goes on talking.

Draco: I mean, what would people say? A Malfoy, helping a Weasley? What are the odds?

Ginny: About as good as us getting out of here alive?

Draco: Think, Weaselette. What are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurts. No problem. There's a popping sound preceding each, we can avoid that. Two, the Lightning Sand. But you were [coughs] clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.

Ginny: Draco, what about the C.O.U.S.'s?

Draco: Canines of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist...

And as he says that, a C.O.U.S. comes flying at him from off-screen.

_Cut to:_   
**Ginny** screaming and then staring--

Ginny: Sirius?

The C.O.U.S., Draco pinned underneath it, turns into a tall man.

Sirius: Can't talk. Killing scum.

Ginny: Sirius, get off him.

Sirius: He kissed you. I can smell it.

Draco: I didn't *want* to.

Ginny: He really didn't.

Sirius: [pouting] Can I kill him anyway?

Ginny: No, Sirius.

Sirius: Fine! Whatever! Hook up with a Malfoy! Ruin your mother's life! I don't care! I'll just hide here in the fucking swamps where no one can find me and arrest me and give me a dementor's kiss, and not kill anybody!

He rolls off Draco, turns back into a dog, and runs away.

_Dissolve to:_   
**The far edge of the Fire Swamp.**

Beyond, a beach.

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny and Draco**

Ginny: [almost in disbelief] We did it.

Draco: Now, was that so terrible? Wait, what am I saying? It really, really was.

 _Cut to:_   
**Something we hadn't expected** :

Voldemort on his horse, Wormtail beside him. Three Death Eaters, armed and ready, are mounted in formation behind. Ginny and Draco are at the edge of the Fire Swamp, about to leave it. They stop. Ginny looks beyond exhaustion. Draco looks worse.

Voldemort: Surrender!

It's dusk. Behind Voldemort are the waters of the bay.

 _Cut to:_   
Draco and Ginny, staring out at the others.

Draco: Yeah. okay.

Ginny: WHAT?

Draco: Well, really. Do I *look* like an idiot?

Ginny: Yes.

Voldemort: I give you full marks for bravery -- don't make yourself a fool.

Draco: What are you talking about? I already surrendered?

Voldemort: I tell you once again -- surrender!

Draco: Are you deaf as well as hideous? I surrender!

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , looking from one to the other; then something else catches her eye and we --

 _Cut to:_   
**An armed Death Eater** , in shadow, with a wand aimed at Draco's heart.

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , looking the other way --

 _Cut to:_   
**Another Death Eater** , wand aimed at Draco.

Voldemort: [roaring] For the last time -- SURRENDER!

Draco: roaring right back, bigger] I BLOODY WELL DO! TAKE THE DAMN GIRL ALREADY!

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , frantically staring around, and now

 _Cut to:_   
**A third Death Eater** , wand shaking, ready to shoot; this one is hidden in a tree blocking any escape Draco might try.

Ginny: Will you promise not to hurt him?

 _Cut to:_   
**Voldemort** , whirling to face her.

Voldemort: What was that?

 _Cut to:_   
**Draco** , whirling to face her.

Draco: What was that?

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , talking to them both.

Ginny: Well, Draco did save my life. Kind of. In the swamp. A little. So, if we surrender, and I return with you, will you promise not to hurt this man?

Voldemort: [right hand high] May I live a thousand years and never hunt again.

Ginny: [looks at Draco] He is an auror on the ship "Revenge." Promise to return him to his ship.

Voldemort: I swear it will be done.

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny and Draco** , staring deep into each other's eyes.

 _Cut to:_   
**Voldemort and Wormtail**

Voldemort: Once we're out of sight, take him back to Florin and throw him in the Pit of Despair.

Wormtail: [almost a smile] I swear it will be done.

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny and Draco**

Draco: Why does he listen to *you*?

Ginny: Who knows?

Draco: Here's hoping we never meet again.

Ginny: Good luck with the whole Polyjuice Thing.

Draco: Good luck being the wife of the embodiment of evil.

Ginny tries to speak again, can't, and is swooped off her feet onto Voldemort's horse, and off they go. 

_Cut to:_   
**Draco** , staring after her. Wormtail watches as his death eaters bring Draco to him. The Count has a heavy sword and he holds it in his hand.

Wormtail: Come, sir. We must get you to your ship.

Draco: [snorts] I'm not a Hufflepuff, you know

Wormtail: Well spoken, sir --

Draco is looking at him. 

Wormtail: -- what is it?

Draco: You have a silver hand -- someone was looking for you --

Count Wormtail clubs Draco hard across the skull. Draco starts to fall -- the screen goes black.

 _Fade in on:_   
**The Pit of Despair**

Dank and chill, underground and windowless, lit by flickering torches. Frightening. Draco lies in the center of the cage, chained and helpless.

 _Cut to:_   
**Something really frightening looking: a bloodless albino -- Lucius Malfoy.**

Dead pale, he silently enters the pit, carrying a tray of food and medication. He puts it down.

Draco: Father?

Lucius Malfoy: You are no son of mine, you traitorous Weasley-loving --

Draco: Dad, it's called slumming. People do it all the time.

Lucius: I suppose it could've been worst. At least she's a pureblood.

Draco: And it's not like I *wanted* to kiss her.

Lucius: You mean you didn't even get laid? You are truly a disgrace to the name of Malfoy.

Draco: Yeah, well. Let me out of here, and I'll make it up to you.

Lucius: Right. Because I want Prince Voldemort to kill me instead. Nice try.

Draco: It was worth a shot.

Lucius: Not really.

Draco: So, it's gonna be a nice, clean Avada Kedavra, right?

Lucius: [snorts]

Draco: Crucio?

Lucius: [nods]

Draco: I can cope with crucio.

From Lucius Malfoy: a shake of the head.

Draco: You don't believe me?

Lucius Malfoy: You're a Slytherin and a Malfoy. I never believe you.

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , and her face is sad. Pallid, perhaps ill. She wanders down a corridor in Florin Castle. As she moves unseeing past an intersecting corridor:

 _Cut to:_   
**Prince Voldemort and Count Wortmail** , watching her

Voldemort: She's been like that ever since the Fire Swamp. [looks at Wortmail] It's my father's failing health that's upsetting her.

Wormtail: Of course, my Lord.

As they move on,

 _Cut to:_   
**Florin Castle at night**

Camera holds on it while we hear Vernon's voice reading.

Vernon: [off-screen] The King died that very night, and before the following dawn, Ginny and Voldemort were married.

 _Cut to:_   
**Main Square of Florin Castle**

And if we thought it was packed before, we didn't know how many more could fit in this courtyard. Voldemort, Wortmail and the Queen stand high on the balcony.

Vernon: [off-screen] And at noon, she met her subjects again. This time as their Queen.

Voldemort: My father's final words were...

Dudley: [off-screen] -- hold it. Hold it, Dad.

And the scene FREEZES, Voldemort caught in mid-sentence.

 _Cut to:_   
**Dudley's room**

Dudley is half sitting now, not strong yet, but clearly stronger than when we first saw him.

Dudley: You read that wrong. She doesn't marry Voldemort, she marries Draco. I'm just sure of it. After all that Draco did for her, if she does not marry him, it would be really stupid.

Vernon: Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair.

Dudley: I'm telling you you're messing up the story, now get it right!

Vernon: Do you want me to go on with this?

Dudley: No. I *want* a choc--

Vernon glares at him

Dudley: --Yes.

Vernon: All right, then. No more interruptions. [starts to read again] ... at noon, she met her subjects again. This time as their Queen.

And on these words, 

_Cut to:_   
**Prince Voldemort**.

Voldemort: My father's final words were "love her as I loved her, and there will be joy." I present to you your Queen. Queen Ginny.

And on his words,

 _Cut to:_   
**The Crowd** , and it's gigantic.

 _Cut to:_   
**The Archway** we saw before, as Ginny emerges.

 _Cut to:_   
**The Crowd** , suddenly going to its knees, wave after wave of silent kneeling people. All of them down.

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , touched as before, but then she seems stunned as we

 _Cut to:_   
**The Crowd**. SOMEONE IS BOOING! The BOOING gets louder as a young woman approaches Ginny through the crowd, BOOING every step of the way.

Ginny: Why do you do this?

Lavender Brown: Because you had love in your hands, and you gave it up.

Ginny: [distraught] For the last time, I DON'T LOVE DRACO MALFOY!

Lavender: Your true love lives and you marry another -- [to the crowd] -- True love saved her in the Fire Swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse! So, bow down to her if you want. Bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo!

She advances on Ginny now, who is more and more panicked.

 **Close-up, Lavender**.   
Louder and louder and LOUDER she shrieks vituperation at Ginny, reaching out her old hands toward Ginny's throat, and Ginny is as frightened now as Dorothy was when the Witch went after her in "The Wizard of Oz", and suddenly,

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , coming out of her nightmare, alone in her castle bedroom. As she fantically grabs a robe and starts to run.

Vernon: [off-screen, still reading] It was ten days till the wedding. The King still lived, but Ginny's nightmares were growing steadily worse.

Dudley: [off-screen] See? Didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Voldemort?

Vernon: [off-screen] -- yes, you're very smart. Shut-Up.

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , bursting into the Prince's chambers. Count Wortmail stands nearby.

Ginny: It comes to this: it turns out, I love Draco after all. I don't know why, 'cause he's a bloody annoying spoiled prejudiced git, but I do. If you tell me I must marry you in ten days, please believe I will be dead by morning.

 _Cut to:_   
**Prince Voldemort**. Just stunned. Finally, softly, he begins to talk.

Voldemort: I could never cause you grief; consider our wedding off. [to Wortmail] You returned this Draco to his ship?

Wortmail: Yes.

Voldemort: Then we will simply alert him. [to Ginny now] Beloved, are you certain he still wants you? After all, it was you who did the leaving in the Fire Swamp. Not to mention that aurors are not known to be men of their words.

Ginny: My Draco will always come for me.

Voldemort: I suggest a deal. You write four copies of a letter. I'll send my four fastest owls. One in each direction. The Dread Auror Moody is always close to Florin this time of year. We'll deliver your message. If Draco wants you, bless you both. If not ... please consider me as an alternative to suicide. Are we agreed? 

And she nods --

 _Cut to:_   
**A very thick grove of trees**

The trees are unusual in one respect: all of them are extraordinarily heavily knotted.

 _Pull back to reveal_   
**Voldemort and Wortmail** , walking into the grove of trees.

Wortmail: Your Princess is really a winning creature. A trifle simple, perhaps, but her appeal is undeniable.

Voldemort: Oh, I know. The people are quite taken with her. It's odd, but when I hired Snape to have her murdered on our engagement day, I thought that was clever. But it's going to be so much more moving when I take possession of her body on our wedding night. Once Guilder is blamed, the nation will be truly outraged. They'll demand we go to war.

They are deeper into the grove now. Wortmail is searching around.

Wortmail: Now, where is that secret knot? It's impossible to find. [Finding the knot on the tree he hits it, and it opens, revealing a staircase leading underground.] Are you coming down into the Pit? Draco's got his strength back. I am starting him on Crucio tonight.

Voldemort: Peter, you know how much I love watching you work. But, I've got my country's five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped.

Wortmail: Get some rest, my Lord -- if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

Wortmail smiles and hurries down the stairs as the tree slides back perfectly into place.

 _Cut to:_   
Count Wortmail, tying Draco to a pole

Wortmail: Wonderful curse, Crucio. It took me half a lifetime to master it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. At present I'm writing the definitive work on the subject. So I want you to be totally honest with me on how this makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll only do it for a bit.

 _Cut to:_   
**Draco.** He says nothing, keeps control of himself

 _Cut to:_   
**Count Wortmail** , polishing his wand. He points it at Draco and murmurs "Crucio."

 _Cut to:_   
**Draco,** and he's tied to the pole, and he's only flesh and the chains are metal and thick, but such is his desperation it almost seems he might break them. A terrible sound comes from his throat, an incessant gasping. It keeps on coming as we finally

 _Cut to:_   
**Count Wortmail.** He lowers his wand, and pulls out a thick black journal. Wortmail opens the book to a blank page.

Wortmail: Let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest -- how do you feel?

AND NOW, AT LAST,

 _Cut to:_   
**Draco** , in anguish so deep it is dizzying. Helpless, he cries.

Count Wortmail watches the tears, then starts to write.

Wortmail: Interesting.

 _Cut to:_   
**Voldemort** in his quarters, swamped. Piles of papers are strewn all over. Now Flint, a pale, shifty, quick-eyed man appears in the doorway. 

Voldemort: Flint.

Flint: [bows, then kneels] My Lord.

Voldemort: As Chief Enforcer of all Florin, I trust you with this secret: killers from Guilder are infiltrating the Thieves' Forest and plan to murder my bride on our wedding night. 

Flint: My spy network has heard no such news.

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** entering.

Ginny: Any word from Draco?

 _Cut to:_   
**The Prince and Flint** , turning to her in the doorway.

Voldemort: Too soon, my angel. Patience.

Ginny: He will come for me.

Voldemort: Of course.

As she glides out,

Voldemort: She will not be murdered. On the day of the wedding, I want the Thieves' Forest emptied and every inhabitant arrested.

Flint: Many of the thieves will resist. My regular enforcers will be inadequate.

Voldemort: Form a Brute Squad then. I want the Thieves' Forest emptied before I wed.

Flint: It won't be easy, my Lord.

Voldemort: [alone, exhausted] Try ruling the world sometime.

 _Cut to:_   
**The Thieves' Forest -- day**

A lot of hollering is going on. The Thieves are being rounded up by the Brute Squad, a large group of large men. Flint stands on a wagon in the midst of all the scuffling. 

Vernon: [off-screen] The day of the wedding arrived. The Brute Squad had their hands full carrying out Voldemort's orders.

Flint: [to an unpleasant-looking assistant] Is everybody out?

Crabbe: Almost. Potter's giving us some trouble.

Flint: Well, you give him some trouble. Move!

And his wagon starts, and as it does, 

_Cut to:_   
**Harry** , drunk as a skunk, sprawled in front of a hovel, a bottle of butterbeer in one hand, Gryffindor's sword in the other. He looks dreadful. Unshaven, puffy-eyed, gaunt. But the way he brandishes the great sword in front of him would give anyone cause for worry.

Harry: I am waiting for you, Snape. You told me to go back to the beginning. So I have. This is where I am, and this is where I'll stay. I will not be moved.

He takes a long pull from his brandy bottle. He stops as Crabbe comes into view.

Crabbe: Ho there.

Harry: I do not budge. Keep your "Ho there." [He waves his sword dangerously]

Crabbe: But the Prince gave orders --

Harry: -- So did Professor Snape -- when a job went wrong, you went back to the beginning. And this is where we got the job. So it's the beginning, and I'm staying till Snape comes.

Crabbe: [gesturing off-screen] You! Brute! Come here.

Harry: -- I -- am -- waiting -- for -- Snape --

Voice: [off-screen] You surely are an ape.

Harry feels a hand on his back. A huge hand. He compares it to his own smaller hand.

Hagrid: Alrigh' there?

Harry: It's you.

Hagrid: True!

And as Crabbe is just about to club Harry's brains out, Hagrid lets fly with a stupendous punch.

Crabbe takes the full force of the blow right in the chops. It's like he was shot from a cannon as he careens backwards out of sight across the street.

There is a pause. Then a crunching sound, as he clearly has come in contact with something hard and immobile.

Hagrid puts Harry down.

Hagrid: You don' look so good, 'Arry. [after Harry blasts air in protest] You don' smell so good either.

Harry: Perhaps not. I -- hic! -- feel fine.

Hagrid: Yeah?

And so Hagrid puts Harry down. That's when Harry faints, and as he does, 

_Cut to:_   
**An empty alehouse in the Thieves' Quarter**

Harry sits slumped in a chair, while Hagrid spoons him some stew.

Vernon: [off-screen] Hagrid and Harry were reunited. And as Hagrid nursed his inebriated friend back to health, he told Harry of Snape's death and the existence of Count Wortmail, the silver-handed man. Considering Harry's lifelong search, he handled the news surprisingly well.

And he faints again into his stew. 

_Cut to:_   
**Two large tubs** , one filled with steaming water, the other with water clearly of an icy nature. Without a word Hagrid stuffs Harry's head into the icy water, then, after a reasonable amount of time, pulls him out, ducks him into the steaming stuff, and, a short time after that, puts him back in the cold again, then back in the hot --

Vernon: [off-screen] Hagrid took great care in reviving Harry.

Harry: [up and going] That's enough. That's enough! Where is this Wortmail so I may kill him?

Hagrid: He's with the Prince in the Castle. But the castle gate is guarded by thirty men.

Harry: How many could you handle?

Hagrid: I don't think more than ten.

Harry: [doing the math on his fingers, since he never learned it in Wizarding school] That leaves twenty for me. At my best, I could never defeat that many. [he sinks sadly down] I need Snape to plan. I have no gift for strategy. Hell, I'm a Gryffindor. My strategy usually consists of barging into dangerous situations at random.

Hagrid: But Snapes's dead.

 _Cut to:_   
**The two of them**.

Silent and bereft. Then a wild look hits Harry.

Harry: No -- not Snape -- I need the Man in Black --

Hagrid: -- what? --

Harry: -- look, he bested you with strength, your greatness. He bested me with steel. He must have out-thought Snape, and a man who can do that can plan my castle's onslaught any day. Let's go --

Hagrid: -- where?

Harry: To find the Man in Black, obviously.

Hagrid: But you don't know where he is.

Harry: [he is possessed by demons now] I'm a Gryffindor. I don't need to bother with silly things like common sense.

 _Cut to:_   
**Close-up - Harry**

Harry: [big] There will be blood tonight!!

 _Cut to:_   
**Prince Voldemort's Chambers**

\-- strewn with maps, etc. Flint enters, and kneels.

Voldemort: [sharpening his dagger] Rise and report.

Flint: The Thieves' Forest is emptied. Thirty men guard the castle gate.

Voldemort: Double it. My Princess must be safe.

Flint: The gate has but one key, and I carry that.

He shows the key, dangling from a chain around his neck. Just at that moment, Ginny enters. 

Voldemort: Ah! My dulcet darling. Tonight we marry. Tomorrow morning, your men will escort us to Florin Channel where every owl I have waits to accompany us on our honeymoon.

Ginny: Every owl but your four fastest, you mean.

The Prince looks at her blankly for a moment.

Ginny: Every owl but the four you sent.

Voldemort: Yes. Yes, of course. Naturally, not those four.

Flint: [bows, exits] Your Majesties.

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , staring at Voldemort.

Ginny You never sent the owls. Don't bother lying. It doesn't matter. Draco will come for me anyway.

Voldemort: [sharply] You're a silly girl.

Ginny: Yes, I am a silly girl, for not having seen sooner that you were nothing but a coward with a heart full of fear.

Voldemort: close to erupting; speaks very distinctly] I-would-not-say-such things-if-I- were-you-

Ginny: Why not? You can't hurt me. Draco and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that. Not with a thousand bloodhounds. And you cannot break it. Not with a thousand swords. And when I say you are a coward, that is only because you are the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the earth.

 _Cut to:_   
**Voldemort** jumping at her, yanking her by the hair, starting to pull her along, out of control, his words indistinct.

Voldemort: IWOULDNOTSAYSUCHTHINGSIFIWEREYOU!

 _Cut to:_   
**A corridor of the castle** , as the Prince throws open the door to Ginny's room, slams it shut, locks it, breaks into a wild run and --

 _Cut to:_   
**Draco**. Count Wortmail is adding more notes to his book. He looks up as the Prince suddenly comes down the steps, raging.

Voldemort: [at Draco] You truly love each other--

Draco: -- No we don't --

Voldemort: [ignoring him] -- and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will. 

And with that he whirls, unsheathes his wand and --

 _Cut to:_   
**Count Wortmail** calling out --

Wortmail: No, my Lord!

But it's too late as we --

 _Cut to:_   
**Prince Voldemort** , shouting "Crucio"

 _Cut to:_   
**Draco's face**. And there has never been such pain. The pain grows and grows and with it now, something else has started

The Death Scream. As The Death Scream starts to rise --

 _Cut to:_   
**Outside The Pit of Despair** as the SOUND moves along, LOUDER AND LOUDER, and --

 _Cut to:_   
**Flint and his sixty Death Eaters**. And they bear it, and a few of the Brutes turn to each other in fear, and as the scream builds --

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny in her room**. She hears the SOUND, doesn't know what it is, but her arms involuntarily go around her body to try to control the trembling, and the scream, still builds and --

 _Cut to:_   
**Establishing shot across the river**. There are many People -- it is the day of the Country's 500th Anniversary -- but all the People stop as the sound hits them. A few children pale, bolt toward their parents and --

 _Cut to:_   
**Harry and Hagrid** , trying to make their way through the jammed marketplace, which suddenly quiets as the fading sound comes through.

Harry: [instantly] Hagrid, Hagrid, listen, do you hear? -- That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Wortmail slaughtered my father. The Man in Black makes it now.

Hagrid: The Man in Black?

Harry: His true love is marrying another tonight, so who else has cause for Ultimate Suffering? [trying to push through] Excuse me --

It's too crowded.

Harry: -- pardon me, it's important --

No one budges and the sound is fading faster.

Harry: -- Hagrid, please --

Hagrid, gigantic and roaring.

Hagrid: Everybody ... MOVE!!

And the Crowd begins to fall away, and he and Harry start to track the FADING SOUND.

Harry: Thank you.

 _Cut to:_   
**A grove of trees near The Pit of Despair**

Lucius Malfoy appears wheeling a barrow.

Harry's sword pushes at his chest.

Harry: Where is the Man in Black?

Lucius Malfoy shakes his head, says nothing.

Harry: You get there from this grove, yes?

(silence)

Harry: Hagrid, jog his memory.

And Hagrid crunches Lucius Malfoy on the top of the head as if he had a hammer and was driving in a nail. Lucius Malfoy drops without a sound.

Hagrid: [upset] I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to jog him so hard. Harry?

 _Cut to:_   
**Harry**. He pulls a map out of his back pocket.

Harry: I'm such an idiot. [taps the map with his wand] I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

 _Cut to:_   
**The map** on which a little dot labelled "Harry Potter" appears, and pokes at a knot on a tree.

 _Cut to:_   
**Harry**. He taps the map again, murmuring "Mischief managed", then pokes at the secret knot.

 _Cut to:_   
**The tree** that slides away, revealing the staircase. Hagrid and Harry look at each other, then start down.

 _Cut to:_   
**Draco** , dead against the pole. Hagrid leans over him, listening for a heartbeat. Then he looks at Harry, shakes his head.

Hagrid: He's dead.

Harry is in despair. For a moment, he just sags.

Harry: [barely able to speak] It just is not fair.

Dudley: [off-screen] Dad -- Dad -- wait --

 _Cut to:_   
**Dudley's room**

He is terribly excited and looks stronger than we've yet seen him.

Dudley: -- wait -- what did Hagrid mean, "He's dead?" I mean he didn't mean dead.

Vernon says nothing, just sits there

Dudley: Draco's only faking, right?

Vernon: You want me to read this or not?

 _Cut to:_   
**Close-up: Dudley**

Dudley: Who gets Voldemort?

Vernon: What?

Dudley: Who kills Prince Voldemort? At the end, somebody's got to do it. Is it Harry? Who?

Vernon: Nobody. Nobody kills him. He lives.

Dudley: You mean he wins? Jesus, Dad! What did you read me this thing for?

And he desperately fights for control.

Vernon: You know, you've been very sick and you're taking this story very seriously. I think we better stop now. [starts to get up]

Dudley: [shaking his head] No! I'm okay. I'm okay. [gestures toward the chair] -- sit down. All right?

Vernon: Okay. [sitting and opening the book again] All right, now, let's see. Where were we? Oh yes. In The Pit of Despair.

 _Cut to:_   
**Harry** , in despair. (We're back in the Pit, the same shot as before). For a moment, he just sags.

Harry: Well, we Potters have never taken defeat easily. Come along, Hagrid. Bring the body.

Hagrid: The body?

Harry: [not stopping] Have you any money?

Hagrid: I have a little.

Harry: I just hope it's enough to buy a Miracle, that's all.

As Hagrid takes the corpse, follows Harry up the stairs --

 _Cut to:_   
**A Hovel, Dusk**

Harry, Hagrid, Draco approach the door. They knock.

Voice: Go away!

Harry pounds again.

Miracle Ron: [opening a small window in the door] What? What?

Harry: Are you the Miracle Ron who worked for the King all those years?

Miracle Ron: The King's stinking son fired me. And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed!

He shuts the window. They rap on the door.

Miracle Ron: [opening the window] Beat it or I'll call the Brute Squad.

Hagrid: I'm on the Brute Squad.

Miracle Ron: [looking at the Giant] You are the Brute Squad.

Harry: We need a Miracle. It's very important.

Miracle Ron: Look, I'm retired. And besides, why would you want someone the King's stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanted me to Miracle.

Harry: He's already dead.

Miracle Ron: for the first time, interested} He is, eh? I'll take a look. Bring him in.

He unlocks the door and lets them in.

 _Cut to:_   
**Harry and Hagrid** , hurrying inside. Hagrid carries Draco who is just starting to stiffen up a little. He lays Draco down across a bench by the fireplace, picks Draco's arm up and lets it drop limp.

Miracle Ron: I've seen worse.

He studies Draco a moment, checking here, checking there.

Harry: Sir. Sir.

Miracle Ron: What?

Harry: We're really in a terrible rush.

Miracle Ron: [He takes nothing from nobody] Don't rush me. You rush a Miracle man, you get rotten Miracles. You got money?

Harry: Sixty-five.

Miracle Ron: Sheesh! I never worked for so little, except once, and that was a very noble cause.

Harry: This is noble, sir. [pointing to Draco] His wife is crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation.

Miracle Ron: You're in Gryffindor, aren't you? Gryffindors can never lie convincingly.

Harry: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years.

Miracle Ron: Your first story was better. [looking around] Where's that bellows? [spots it] He probably owes you money, huh? Well, I'll ask him.

He goes to get a huge bellows.

Harry: [stupefied] He's dead. He can't talk.

Miracle Ron: Look who knows so much. Well, it just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please open his mouth.

Harry does. Ron inserts the bellows in Draco's mouth and starts to pump.

Miracle Ron: Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead...well, with all dead, there's usually only one thing that you can do.

Harry: What's that?

He stops pumping.

Miracle Ron: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

He starts pumping again.

Miracle Ron: [to Draco] Hey! Hello in there. Hey! What's so important? What you got here that's worth living for?

And he presses lightly on Draco's chest.

Draco: ... tr ... oooo .... luv...

Everybody stares at Draco lying there on the bench.

Harry: True love. You heard him. You could not ask for a more noble cause than that.

Miracle Ron: True love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that. But that's not what he said. He distinctly said "to blave." And, as we all know, "to blave" means "to bluff." So you're probably playing cards, and like all Slytherins, he cheated --

A woman's voice: -- Liar -- LIAR-LI-A-A-AR --

Hermione, in a fury fury, storms out of a back room and toward

Miracle Ron: -- get back, witch --

Hermione: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. Well, actually, I'm both... But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be married anymore.

Miracle Ron: You never had it so good.

Hermione: "True love." He said, "true love," Ron. My God --

Miracle Ron: [retreating] Don't say another word, Hermione.

Hermione: [turning to Harry and Hagrid] He's afraid. Ever since Prince Voldemort fired him, his confidence is shattered.

Miracle Ron: Why'd you say that name -- you promised me that you would never say that name --

Hermione: [pursuing him now] What, Voldemort? Voldemort. Voldemort. Ooo-ooo, Voldemort --

Miracle Ron: [holding his hands over his ears] I'm not listening.

Hermione: A life expiring and you don't have the decency to say why you won't help --

Miracle Ron: Nobody's hearing nothing!

Hermione: Voldemort. Voldemort! Voldemort!

Harry: -- But this is Ginny's true love -- If you heal him, he will stop Voldemort's wedding.

Hermione: Voldemort. Voldemort --

Miracle Ron: [to Hermione] Shut up -- [now to Harry] Wait a minute. My sister loves this stupid git?

Harry: Well, um.

Miracle Ron: My *sister* has been kissing *Draco* *Malfoy*

Draco: We didn't want to

Harry and Ron: Shut up. You're dead.

Draco: [to himself] only mostly...

Harry: The point is, if you heal Draco, Voldemo--

Ron: -- Don't say that name!

Harry: -- You-Know-Who suffers

Ron: Hmm... Leave Malfoy dead, humiliate You-Know-Who... Leave Malfoy dead, humiliate You-Know-Who... Give me the sixty-five, I'm on the job.

And as Hermione shrieks excitedly we

 _Cut to:_   
**This Lump**. It is somewhat smaller than a tennis ball. 

_Pull back to reveal_   
**Ron and Hermione** , exhausted, looking at the lump with beautific pleasure, as Hermione, cooking utensil in hand, covers the thing with what looks like chocolate. Harry and Hagrid stare at the thing too, but more dubiously.

Harry: [a little appalled] That's a Miracle pill?

Ron nods

Hermione: [finishing] The chocolate coating restores happiness. But you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency. And you shouldn't go swimming after, for at least, what?

Miracle Ron: An hour.

Hermione: Yeah, an hour.

Miracle Ron: A good hour. Yeah.

Harry accepts the pill as Hagrid takes Draco, who is stiff as a board now.

Harry: [heading out the door, Hagrid close behind] Thank you for everything.

Miracle Ron: Okay.

Hermione: [waving after them] Bye-bye, boys.

Miracle Ron: Have fun storming the castle.

Hermione: [to Ron] Think it'll work?

Miracle Ron: It would take a Miracle. Bye!

Hermione: Bye.

 _Cut to:_   
**Hagrid, Harry, and Draco** , on the top of the outer wall of the castle. They look down to the front gate of the castle. The sixty Death Eaters are visible. 

Hagrid is thunderstruck by how many Death Eaterss there are. Upset, he turns to Harry, who is concentrating unsuccessfully, trying to prop Draco against the wall.

Hagrid: Harry -- there's more than thirty --

Harry: [absolutely unfazed] What's the difference? [indicating the half-dead Draco] We've got him. Help me here. We'll have to force feed him.

Hagrid: Has it been fifteen minutes?

Harry: We can't wait -- the wedding's in half an hour. Besides. I'm gonna enjoy this. [grins somewhat maliciously]

During this, Hagrid, using all his strength, has managed to get Draco into a right angled sitting postion, while Harry brings out the miracle pill.

Harry: Tilt his head back. Open his mouth.

Hagrid: [following orders] How long do we have to wait before we know if the miracle works?

 _Cut to:_   
**Harry.** Pill in hand, he drops it into Draco's mouth, and roughly massages Draco's throat, not caring if he happens to leave bruising in the process.

Harry: Your guess is as good as mine --

Draco: I'll beat you both apart. I'll take you both together.

Hagrid: Guess not very long.

Harry and Hagrid react. Draco is the only one not amazed.

Draco: Why won't my arms move? What have you done to me? [He sits there, immobile, like a ventriloquist's dummy.] When I tell my father--

Hagrid: You've been mostly dead all day.

Harry: We had Miracle Ron make a pill to bring you back.

Draco: Who are you? -- Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? -- Where's Ginny? --

Harry: Let me explain -- [pauses very briefly] -- No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Ginny is marrying Voldemort in a little less than half an hour, so all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the Princess, make our escape after I kill Count Wormtail.

Draco: That doesn't leave much time for dilly dallying.

He is watching his fingers, one of which twitches now.

Hagrid: You've just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.

Draco: I've always been a quick healer. Except with hippogriff bites. Those things sting like you wouldn't believe. [to Harry] What are our liabilities?

Harry: There is but one working castle gate.

Hagrid helps Harry raise Draco just high enough so he can see for himself.

Harry: and it is guarded by sixty men.

Draco: and our assets?

Harry: Your brains, Hagrid's strength, my steel.

 _Cut to:_   
**Draco** , absolutely stunned.

Draco: That's it? Impossible. If I had a month to plan, maybe I could come up with something. But this...

He shakes his head from side to side.

 _Cut to:_   
**Harry and Hagrid**

Hagrid: [trying to be cheery] You just shook your head -- that doesn't make you happy?

Draco: My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy? I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.

Harry: Where did we put that wheelbarrow Lucius Malfoy had?

Hagrid: Over Lucius Malfoy, I think.

Draco: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place? What I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.

Harry: Sorry. I don't care how rich you are, you can't just *wish* for something and have it *appear* --

Hagrid: [pulling one out] Will this do?

Harry: [to Hagrid-- surprised] Where did you get that?

Hagrid: At Miracle Ron's. It fit so nice, he said I could keep it.

Draco: All right, all right. Come on, help me up.

Harry and Hagrid do.

Draco: Now, I'll need a sword eventually.

Harry: Why? You can't even lift one.

Draco: True -- and, by the way, shut up -- but that's hardly common knowledge, is it? [and his bead tilts limply back. Hagrid sets it up right for him] Thank you. Now, there may be problems once we're inside.

Harry: I'll say -- how do I find the Count? -- Once I do, how do I find you again? -- Once I find you again, how do we escape? --

Hagrid: [sharply] Don' pester him, he's had a hard day.

Harry: [nods] Right, right, sorry. Old habits die hard.

 _Cut to:_   
**A shot of the three of them in profile.**

They move along the wall in silence for a time. Then these words come to us on the wind --

Hagrid: 'Arry.

Harry: What?

Hagrid: I hope we win...

 _Cut to:_   
**Ginny** , in her bridal gown, and she's incredible. It's not just her beauty; there's a tranquility about her now.

 _Pull back to reveal_ :   
**The Prince** , fastening a pearl necklace around her.

Voldemort: You don't seem excited, my little muffin.

Ginny: Should I be?

Voldemort: Brides often are, I'm told.

Ginny: [gently, confidently] I do not marry tonight.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Ginny** , and she couldn't seem more serene.

Ginny: My Draco will save me. [pause] At least, he'd better, the slimy git.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Draco** , looking down on the gate with Harry and Hagrid.

 _Cut to_ :   
**The main gate of the castle** \-- and Flint, standing there, flanked by his sixty Death Eaters.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Draco and Harry and Hagrid** , looking out at the enemy. This is it. Harry and Hagrid shake hands.

Draco can't even do that, but after a bit of rocking back and forth, he manages to get enough momentum to catapult his arm over and onto his friend's.

 _Cut to_ :   
**An absolutely gem-like little chapel**

 _Pull back to reveal_ :   
**Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic**

Ginny and Voldemort kneel before Fudge. Behind them sit the mumbling old King and Queen. Standing in the back is Count Wormtail.

Four Death Eaters are in position flanking the chapel door.

Cornelius Fudge: [clears his throat, begins to speak] Mawidge...mawidge is what bwings us togewer today...

He has an impediment that would stop a clock.

Cornelius Fudge: Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement, that dweam wiffim a dweam...

And now, from outside the castle, there begins to come a commotion. And then --

Flint: [off-screen] Stand your ground, men. Stand your ground.

 _Cut to_ :   
**The Death Eaters and Flint** , by the gate, for it is indeed they who are making the commotion, frightened, pointing.

Flint: Stand your ground.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Their P.O.V.** : And it is a bit unnerving -- a giant seems to be floating toward them out of the darkness, a giant in a strange cloak, and with a voice that would crumble walls.

Hagrid: I AM THE DREAD AUROR MOODY. THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Hagrid** , and he seems to be floating because he's standing in the wheelbarrow, as Harry, hidden behind him, uses his wand to move it forward, and supports Draco with his left arm.

Harry: Now?

Draco: Not yet.

 _Cut to_ :   
**The giant floating closer**

Hagrid: MY MEN ARE HERE, AND I AM HERE, BUT SOON YOU WILL NOT BE HERE --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Flint** , keeping the Death Eaters in position, or trying to, shouting orders, instructions and as yet the Death Eaters hold. Now --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry and Draco**.

Harry struggles bravely under their combined weight -- 

Harry: Now?

Draco: Light him.

Harry: [touching his wand to the holocaust cloak] Incendio.

 _Cut to_ :   
**The Death Eaters** , as the Giant bursts suddenly, happily into flames.

Hagrid: [roaring] THE DREAD AUROR MOODY TAKES NO SURVIVORS. ALL YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES ARE ABOUT TO COME TRUE.

 _Cut to_ :   
**The Chapel** , where The Cornelius Fudge plows on.

Cornelius Fudge: ... Ven wuv, twoo wuv, wiw fowwow you fowever..

 _Cut to_ :   
**Prince Voldemort** , turning quickly, giving a sharp nod to Count Wormtail, who immediately takes off out of the chapel with the Four Guards as we

 _Cut to_ :   
**Hagrid** , flaming and scary as hell.

Hagrid: THE DREAD AUROR MOODY IS HERE FOR YOUR SOULS!

 _Cut to_ :   
**Flint** , as suddenly the Death Eaters just scream and take off in wild panic --

Flint: Stay where you are. I said stay where you are!

 _Cut to_ :   
**Inside the Chapel**

Cornelius Fudge: ... so tweasuwe your vruv..

Voldemort: Skip to the end.

Cornelius Fudge: Have you the wing?

As Voldemort whips out the ring, the screams are very loud outside.

Ginny: Here comes my Draco now.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Hagrid** , as he pulls off the holocaust cloak.

Draco: Hagrid, the portcullis.

And Hagrid rushes forward, grabbing the portcullis, which is indeed closing quickly.

Hagrid grabs the gate: and swings the tonnage back upward. Flint just watches in fear.

 _Cut to_ :   
**The Chapel** , as Voldemort shoves the ring on Ginny's finger

Voldemort: Your Draco is dead.

Ginny only smiles, shakes her head.

Voldemort: I killed him myself.

Ginny: [never more serene] Then why is there fear behind your eyes?

 _Cut to_ :   
**Prince Voldemort**. And she's right. It's there.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Flint** , pressed against the main gate. Draco, Harry, and Hagrid close in.

Draco: Give us the gate key.

Flint: [every ounce of honesty he's got] I have no gate key.

Harry: Hagrid, tear his arms off.

Hagrid steps toward him.

Flint: Oh, you mean this gate key.

And he whips it out, hands it to Hagrid.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Voldemort and Ginny and Cornelius Fudge.**

Cornelius Fudge: And do you, Pwincess Ginny...

Voldemort: Man and wife -- say man and wife...

Cornelius Fudge: Man and wife.

Voldemort: [whirling to the King and Queen] Escort the bride to the Honeymoon Suite -- I'll be there shortly.

And as he dashes off --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Ginny** , standing there. Dazed.

Ginny: He didn't come.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail and his four guards** , racing through the castle, and as they reach a complex intersection of several corridors, Wormtail stops, incredulous, as we

 _Cut to_ :   
**Draco, Harry, and Hagrid** , moving toward them. Actually Hagrid is dragging Draco, who is, in turn, dragging Flint's sword like a stiff dog leash -- Draco simply hasn't the strength to raise it.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail** , as the confrontation is about to start.

Wormtail: Kill the dark one and the giant, but leave the third for questioning.

And as his Warriors attack --

Harry goes wild, and maybe the Warrior's are good, maybe they're even better than that -- but they never get a chance to show it because this is something now, this is Harry gone mad and Gryffindor's sword has never flashed faster and the fourth guard is dead before the first one has even hit the floor. There is a pause. Then --

Harry: [to Wormtail, evenly and soft] Hello. My name is Harry Potter. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail**. For a moment he just stands there, sword in hand. Then he does a most unexpected thing. He turns and runs the hell away.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , momentarily surprised, then taking off after him, leaving Draco and Hagrid to exchange curious looks and Wormtail, running through a half-open heavy wooden door, shutting it and locking it just as Harry throws himself against it. He tries again. No kind of chance.

Harry: [calling out] Hagrid, I need you --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Hagrid with Draco** , who is still unable to walk under his own power. He calls back --

Hagrid: [indicating Draco] I can't leave him alone.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , desperately pounding at the heavy door.

Harry: He's getting away from me, Hagrid. Please. Hagrid!

 _Cut to_ :   
**Hagrid and Draco**

Hagrid: [to Draco] I'll be right back.

And he props Draco up against a large suit of armour and takes off toward the intersection where Harry's voice came from -- 

Draco: [rolls his eyes] Yeah, sure, no problem. Run off to help Potter, you stupid, overgrown oaf. Because lord knows, Potter can't just use a simple Alohomora charm, no, not him. He needs *attention*. He needs to be *special*. My father always said...

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , still hammering the door. Hagrid approaches, gestures for him to stop, and with one mighty swipe of his mighty hands the door crumbles --

Harry: Thank you --

And Harry flies through as Hagrid heads back to Draco.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Ginny** , walking with the King and Queen. The Queen, more sprightly, is several paces ahead.

King Albus: [can hardly be understood] Strange wedding.

Queen Minerva: Yes. A very strange wedding. Come along.

Ginny gently stops the King and places a kiss on his forehead. He's very surprised and pleased.

King Albus: What was that for?

Ginny: Because you've always been so kind to me. And I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the Honeymoon Suite.

King Albus: smiling away -- his hearing isn't what it once was] Lemon drop? [calling out to the Queen] She kissed me...

And on those words --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail**. And he's running, dashing through corridors and as he glances back --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , behind him, coming like a streak and --

 _Cut to_ :   
**The intersection** , with the large suit of armour, and Hagrid gaping, staring at all those choices, trying to piece together the puzzle of the missing Draco.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail** , flashing out of one room, down a staircase, picking up his pace. He pulls out a deadly looking dagger, with a sharp point and a triangular shaped blade, and sprints on and --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , closing the gap, closer, closer and he's down the stairs and heading into a dining hall and --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail** , throwing the dagger --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , trying like hell to get out of the way, but no, and it sticks deep into his stomach, and he hurtles back helplessly against the wall of the room, his eyes glazed, blood coming from his wound.

The room is going white on him.

Harry: ... Sorry, Father ... I tried ... I tried...

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail** , looking across the room at Harry. He stares at Harry's face, and then touches his own forehead, as memory comes.

Wormtail: You must be that little brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. It's simply incredible. Have you been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that's the worst thing I ever heard. How marvelous.

Harry sinks.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Ginny** , shutting the door of the Honeymoon Suite, crossing quietly to the far wall where she sits at a table, opens a jeweled box, and takes out a very deadly looking dagger. She seems very much at peace as she touches the knife to her bosom.

Draco: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

And Ginny whirls as we --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Draco** , lying on the bed. Flint's sword is beside him. His voice sounds just fine, but he does not move.

Ginny leaps to the bed, covering him with kisses. Draco is helpless.

Ginny: Oh, Draco, darling. [more kisses] Draco, why won't you hold me?

Draco: [gently] Gently.

Ginny: At a time like this that's all you can think to say? "Gently?"

Draco: [not so gently] Gently!! JESUS, Weasley!

And she lets go, thumping his head against the headboard and

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail, looking very much surprised.**

Wormtail: Good heavens. Are you still trying to win?

 _Pull back to reveal_ :   
**Harry** , struggling feebly, pulling the dagger from his stomach. Holding the wound with his left hand.

Wormtail is pushing off from the table, sword in hand, moving in to kill Harry.

Wormtail: You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble some day.

Harry watches the Count approach, and the Count flicks his sword at Harry's heart, and there's not much Harry can do, just kind of vaguely parry the thrust with the six-fingered sword and Count Wormtail's blade sinks deeply into Harry's left shoulder.

Harry doesn't seem to feel it, his other agonies are so much worse.

 _Cut to_ :   
**The Count** , stepping back, going for the heart again.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry**. And as this blow comes he's trying to use the wall for support in forcing himself to his feet, and it's not a roaring success of an attempt, but he does at least make some progress, and again he manages to parry the thrust, as this time Wormtail's sword runs through his right arm. Again, Harry doesn't seem to mind, doesn't even feel it.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail** , stepping back forjust a moment, watching as Harry continues to inch his way to his feet and then, just before the Count is about to strike again, Harry manages a little flick of his own and Wormtail hadn't expected it, and he jumps back, makes a little involuntary cry of surprise and

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , slowly pushing away from the wall.

Harry: [all but audible] Hello. My name is Harry Potter, you killed my father; prepare to die.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail** , suddenly going into a fierce attack, striking with great power and precision for he is a master swordsman, and he forces Harry easily back, drives him easily into the wall. But he does not penetrate Harry's defense. None of the Count's blows get home. As the Count steps back a moment --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , pushing slowly off from the wall again.

Harry: [a little louder] Hello. My name is Harry Potter, you killed my father, prepare to die.

 _Cut to_ :   
**The Count**. And again he attacks, slashing with wondrous skill. But none of his blows get through and, slowly, Harry, again moves forward.

Harry: [a little louder still] Hello. My name is Harry Potter. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Wormtail: Stop saying that!

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail** , retreating more quickly around the table.

Harry drives for the Count's left shoulder now, thrusts home where the Count had gotten him. Then another move and his blade enters the Count's right shoulder, the same spot Harry was wounded.

Harry: [all he's got] HELLO! MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER. YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO DIE.

Wormtail: No --

Harry: -- offer me money --

And now Gryffindor's sword strikes and there is a slash along Wormtail's forehead

Wormtail: -- yes --

Harry: -- power too -- promise me that --

The great sword flashes again, and now there is another slash, and the cuts bleed together, and form a lightning bolt.

Wormtail: -- all that I have and more please --

Harry: -- offer me everything I ask for --

Wormtail: -- anything you want --

Harry: [roaring]I WANT MY FATHER BACK, YOU SON-OF- A-BITCH!

And on that --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , and almost too fast for the eye to follow, the sword strikes one final time and --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Count Wormtail** , crying out in fear and panic as the sword hits home dead center and --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry and Wormtail** , the sword clear through the Count. They are almost frozen like that for a moment. Then Harry withdraws his sword and as the Count pitches down --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Wormtail** , lying dead. His skin is ashen and the blood still pours from the cuts on his forehead and his eyes are bulging wide, full of fear.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , staring at Wormtail. And now Harry does something we have never seen him do before: he smiles. _Hold for just a moment_ on Harry smiling, then --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Inside the Honeymoon Suite**

Draco lies as before, not a muscle has moved, his head is still on the headboard, Flint's sword at his side. Ginny is alongside the bed; her eyes never leave his face.

Ginny: Oh, Draco, will you ever forgive me?

Draco: What hideous sin have you committed lately?

Ginny: I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast.

Draco: It never happened.

Ginny: What?

Draco: It never happened.

Ginny: But it did. I was there. This old man said, "Man and wife."

Draco: Did you say, "I do"?

Ginny: Well, no, we sort of skipped that part.

Draco: Then you're not married -- if you didn't say it, you didn't do it -- [a pause] -- wouldn't you agree, Your Highness?

 _Cut to_ :   
**Voldemort** , entering the room, staring at them. He pulls out his sword.

Voldemort: A technicality that will shortly be remedied. But first things first. To the death.

Draco: No. [a little pause] To the pain.

Voldemort: [about to charge, stops short] I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Draco: I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon.

Voldemort: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Draco** , lying there comfortably, his words quiet at first.

Draco: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Voldemort** gripping his sword, watching.

Voldemort: -- and then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Draco: I wasn't finished -- the next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right --

Voldemort: [takes step forward] -- and then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Huge Close-up: Draco**

Draco: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Voldemort**. And now he stops, and the look that was in his eyes at the wedding, that look of fear, is starting to return.

Draco: -- so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish -- every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Voldemort** , doing his best to hide the fear that keeps building inside him.

Voldemort: I think you're bluffing --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Draco** , lying there, staring at him.

Draco: It's possible, pig -- I might be bluffing -- it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand -- then again, perhaps I have the strength after all.

And now, slowly, Draco begins to move. His body turns, his feet go to the floor, he starts to stand --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Voldemort** , staring, eyes wide.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Draco**. And now he is standing, sword in fighting position.

Draco: -- DROP YOUR SWORD!

 _Cut to_ :   
**Prince Voldemort** , and he's so panicked he doesn't know whether to pee or wind his watch. He throws his sword to the floor.

Draco: [to Voldemort] Have a seat.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Draco** , speaking to Ginny as Voldemort sits.

Draco: Tie him up. Make it as tight as you like.

And as she sets to work --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry** , entering, looking around.

Harry: Where's Hagrid?

Draco: I thought he was with you.

Harry: No.

Draco: In that case -- [and his balance betrays him]

Harry: [to Ginny] Help him.

Ginny: Why does Draco need helping?

Harry: Because he has no strength --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Voldemort** , and now be starts wrestling mightily with his bonds.

Voldemort: I knew it! I knew you were bluffing! I knew he was bluffing.

Harry: [staring at the Prince] Shall I dispatch him for you?

Draco: [considers this, then] Thank you, but no -- whatever happens to us, I want him to live a long life alone with his cowardice.

Hagrid: [off-screen] 'Arry! 'Arry, where are you?

They look at each other, then move to the balcony, and

 _Cut to_ :   
**Hagrid** , leading four great white horses. He glances up, sees them on the balcony.

Hagrid: Ah, there yeh are. 'Arry, I saw the Prince's stables, and there they were, four white horses. And I thought, there are four of us, if we ever find the lady -- 'allo, lady -- so I took them with me, in case we ever bumped into each other. [considers things a moment] I guess we just did.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Harry and Draco and Ginny** , looking down at Hagrid.

Harry: Hagrid, you did something right.

Hagrid: Don' worry -- I won't let it go to my head.

And as he holds out his great arms,

 _Cut to_ :   
**Ginny** floating through the air. What's happening, of course, is that she's jumping from the balcony so Hagrid can catch her. But her fall is in slow motion so you might think she was flying.

Draco and Harry, watching as Hagrid catches Ginny.

Harry: You know, it's very strange -- I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.

Draco: [as Harry gets him ready for his jump] Have you ever considered being an auror? You'd make a wonderful Dread Auror Moody.

Now from that --

 _Cut to_ :   
**The four giant white horses with their four riders** , triumphantly racing through the night --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Ginny and Draco** , and at last their trials are done. They stop.

Vernon: [off-screen] They rode to freedom. And as dawn arose, Draco and Ginny knew they were safe. A wave of love swept over them. And as they reached for each other...

As Ginny and Draco begin their ultimate kiss --

 _Cut to_ :   
**Dudley's bedroom**

Vernon stops reading.

Dudley: What? What?

Vernon: No, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it.

Dudley: I don't mind so much.

He gestures for his dad to read

Vernon: Okay.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Ginny and Draco**

Vernon: [off-screen] Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The end.

 _Cut to_ :   
**Dudley's room**

Vernon snaps the book closed.

Vernon: Now I think you ought to go to sleep.

Dudley: Can I have a chocolate shake first?

 _Final fade out_ :   
THE END


End file.
